BASIC EMPATHY EXERCISES
A key element when listening to a client is to control the urge of the
therapist to:
nterrupt
‘ive advice
#hange the subject
6oice disapproval
There are various incorrect responses when you are listening to
people. Below are statements of people and a wrong response with
the category of that response. Therapists are often prone to give
responses falling into one of these traps.
Download the Word document and fill in the correct basic empathy
responses starting with ou feel or (at must be/that must have
been”
Remember the key elements to Empathic acknowledgements:
istening to what the other person is saying.
cknowledging what was said, including stating your best and most
accurate understanding of what was said and the feelings associated with
what was said.
Fix it
Client: I`worried about having enough money to pay my bills this
month.
Incorrect therapist response: Can someone loan you the money?
Basic empathy response:
You feelEEn.
More advanced empathy response:
(at must be/that must have been”
One-upping
Client: Look at my scar from the cycling accident.
Incorrect therapist response: Thatànothing, you should see the one I
have on my knee
Basic empathy response: You feelEEn.
More advanced empathy response:
(at must be/that must have been”
Story telling
Client: I got caught in traffic for 2 hours in 100 weather and no air
conditioning.
Incorrect therapist response: That reminds me of the time……
Basic empathy response:
You feelEEn.
More advanced empathy response
(at must be/that must have been”
Consoling
Client: I feel so sad that my son was court ordered to a rehab center.
Incorrect therapist response: Itànot your fault, you are a good parent.
You did the best you could.
Basic empathy response:
You feelEEn.
More advanced empathy response
(at must be/that must have been”
Sympathizing
Client: I just got the lab report back and it was what I most feared.
Incorrect therapist response: Oh you poor thing.
Basic empathy response:
You feelEEn.
More advanced empathy response
(at must be/that must have been”
Advising
Client: Itàscary for me to get up and speak in front of people.
Incorrect therapist response: I think you should join Toast Masters.
Basic empathy response:
You feelEEn.
More advanced empathy response
(at must be/that must have been”
Interrogating
Client: I¥ been trying to get this weight off and just feel frustrated.
Incorrect therapist response: When did you first start having this
problem?
Basic empathy response:
You feelEEn.
More advanced empathy response
(at must be/that must have been”
Shutting down
Client: I lost my job.
Incorrect therapist response: Cheer up, go have some fun.
Basic empathy response:
You feelEEn.
More advanced empathy response
(at must be/that must have been”
Explaining
Client: I`really upset. You promised to be here at 11 and it is now
after 12 noon.
Incorrect therapist response: The reason I`late is because …..
Basic empathy response: You feelEEn.
More advanced empathy response
(at must be/that must have been”
Correcting
Client: I`hurt over what my brother said to mom last night
Incorrect therapist response: He probably did not mean it the way you
took it.
Basic empathy response:
You feelEEn.
More advanced empathy response
(at must be/that must have been”
Educating
Client: My boyfriend left for college 3,000 miles away.
Incorrect therapist response: This is an opportunity for you to learn to
be more independent.
Basic empathy response:
You feelEEn.
More advanced empathy response
(at must be/that must have been”
Empathy
Client: I have so much to do today.
Basic empathy response: You feelEEn.
ADVANCED EMPATHY EXERCISES
Exercise: I got what I wanted.
Complete the statement:
èen ____happened or when I finally got _____, I felt ……ŠFor example: î my 12th birthday I got the new bike I been wanting
for ages, and I was so happy or èen we finally went on holiday
together, I felt excited…xercise: I didn get what I wanted.
What a person might feel like if some hoped-for situation doesn come
about; for example, he or she could feel disappointed, hurt, belittled,
heartbroken, discouraged, pessimistic, etc.
Complete the statement:
èen____ didn happen of when I didn get _____, I felt ……ŠFor example: èen I didn get a role in the school play, I felt sad or
èen nobody would listen to what I had to say, I felt angry and
frustrated.…xercise: We managed to agree
How one might feel when an argument or disagreement has been
solved in a way thatàacceptable to all involved. What compromises
were involved, and who had to compromise on what? What made
these compromises acceptable? How did you feel once the conflict
had been solved in this way (proud, relieved, optimistic, trustful, etc.)?
Complete the statement:
èen_____ and I had a disagreement about _____, we managed to
sort it out (or reach a compromise). Once we had done so, I felt …….†or example: èen those of us in the StudentàUnion had a
disagreement about how the grant the union received should be used,
we decided to make a shortlist of proposals and then to vote on these.
So rather than buying new sofas or new bike stands, the majority
voted to buy new speakers for the concert hall. Then everyone was
happy.¼br>
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